81 funny hair quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Apr 1, 2026

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Apr 1, 2026

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Apr 1, 2026

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Mar 31, 2026

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Mar 31, 2026

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Mar 31, 2026

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Mar 31, 2026

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Mar 30, 2026

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Mar 30, 2026

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Mar 30, 2026

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Mar 30, 2026

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Mar 30, 2026

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Mar 30, 2026

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Mar 30, 2026

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Mar 30, 2026

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Mar 29, 2026

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Mar 29, 2026

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Mar 29, 2026

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Mar 29, 2026

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Mar 28, 2026

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Mar 28, 2026

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Mar 28, 2026

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Mar 28, 2026

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Mar 28, 2026

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Mar 27, 2026

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Mar 27, 2026

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Mar 27, 2026

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Mar 27, 2026

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Mar 26, 2026

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Mar 26, 2026

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Mar 26, 2026

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Mar 26, 2026

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Mar 26, 2026

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Mar 26, 2026

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Mar 26, 2026

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Mar 26, 2026

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Mar 25, 2026

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Mar 25, 2026

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Mar 25, 2026

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Mar 25, 2026