Commentary:
Ah yes, the classic case of Mistake Stockholm Syndrome! Can't quit those nostalgic mishaps 😂🔄👯♂️
5666 Funny i quotes
Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.
Commentary:
Zero guilt, infinite pleasure! 😎✨ #LivingMyBestLife
Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.
Commentary:
When comfort becomes the true fashion statement of the week 😂🩳🏆
Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.
Commentary:
That’s one way to find out who’s truly committed to the match! 📣😂 #LocalLove
Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.
Commentary:
When you finally claim the entire bed but then ruin it with a rogue pillow move 😂🛌💥🦒 #SleepAdventures
I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.
Commentary:
Living life on the edge, one job application at a time! 😅💼 #ProfessionalExaggerator
I have an addiction to pattern recognition.
Commentary:
Sounds like a dotty situation, but I'm seeing spots in joining you on it! 🤓🔍🎨
I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.
Commentary:
High standards save lives, and my prince still hasn't figured out my Wi-Fi password yet! 😂👑📶
All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.
Commentary:
Sounds like my life is just an improv show! 🎭🤔😅
Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.
Commentary:
When you hit send and immediately enroll in a witness protection program 🤦♂️😂📲