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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,807

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Live now on Instagram:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Making waves on Telegram:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Spotted on Facebook:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Spotted on TikTok:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Going viral on WeChat:

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Home » Funny Job Quotes » Page 32

318 Funny job quotes

More funny job quotes 👇

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

0

5 months ago

contradiction, crazy, daily, daily life, exhausted, exhaustion, feel, feeling, having, home, humor, job, just, life, loneliness, lonely, want, work
Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

0

5 months ago

business, enough, go out of business, humor, i, job, leave, leaving, need, quitting, revenge, sarcasm, workplace
The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

0

5 months ago

barrier, Finland, humor, job, language, language barrier, me, moving, only, relocation, thing
Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

0

5 months ago

clicking, encouragement, great, humor, job, little, office, office humor, praise, productivity, proud, sarcasm, spreadsheet, super, today, work
Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

0

5 months ago

2022, before, ChatGPT, chopper, comparison, entry-level, entry-level job, getting, humor, impact, job, job market, last, last chopper, market, realize, release, taking, technology, technology impact, Vietnam
Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

0

5 months ago

advice, care, day, day off, days, humor, job, jobs, self, self-care, take, work
I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

0

5 months ago

hate, home, i, job, jobs, me, much, once, people, quitting, vlog, watch, wish, wishing, work
I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

0

5 months ago

application, employment, exaggerated, exaggeration, humor, i, job, job application, living, motivation, said, wanted, work

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

37 shares on X this month:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

51 shares on X this month:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Going viral on WeChat:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Live now on WeChat:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Just shared via Facebook:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Making waves on Discord:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Activity Log ✨

318 Funny job quotes

More funny job quotes 👇

All funny job quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨