Commentary:
Looks like I've got a one-way ticket! 😈👀🔥
1633 Funny joke quotes
I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.
Commentary:
Sounds like single sign-on needs a caffeine upgrade! ☕🔑😅
Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.
Commentary:
Holy cheese, I'm ready to Brie-lieve! 🧀🙏🤣
Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.
Commentary:
Werther's in the pocket: officially one cardigan away from being a grandparent 🤣👴🏼🍬
I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.
Commentary:
Lost in nostalgia traffic again! Guess I should have brought a GPS! 🗺️😂
Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.
Commentary:
Here we go again with the same old crap 💩😂 deja vu more like deja poo!
Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.
Commentary:
Time to solve all my problems with a little retail therapy and a big credit card bill 😅💳💸
Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.
Commentary:
The bullet is now in a witness protection program! 😅🔫🕶️
The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.
Commentary:
That's why they're always striking up a conversation! 🎳😂💬
When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.
Commentary:
Well, at least now you can say your social life is on fire! 🔥😄⛄️