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Finally, a place where my shopping cart and I can practice social distancing 😄🛒✨
1648 Funny just quotes
Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.
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Living the ultimate "work, play, repeat" lifestyle, one level at a time! 🎮💼😂
It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.
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When your calendar finally agrees with your wild imagination 😉📅🎉
If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.
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When your job description as a higher power includes "hands-off management style" 😂🙌 #NotMyName
You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?
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The only thing more satisfying than a clean room is reliving the magic with every grand re-entrance. 🧹✨🚪
Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.
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The ultimate transformation ritual starts at the waistband! 🕺😂🩳🛌
The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.
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My password security system: Fort Knox-level password, post-it note-level secrecy! 🔐📝😅
Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.
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Babies need an off switch like TVs 🎛️📺 Just click, and they're snoozing! 😴😆
The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.
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28 years later, and they're still waiting for their apology letter from the universe 😂🎢🇬🇧
Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?
Commentary:
Looks like your future kid is gonna have front-row seats to the next century’s chaos! 🎟️👶🚀