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Imagine a world where silence is golden and shushing librarians are the fierce protectors of peace 🦸♀️🤫… next stop, silent coffee shops? ☕📚
147 Funny keep quotes
I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.
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Sending buttered thoughts your way 🧈😂 Stay strong in the face of crumby adversity!
If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.
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Sounds like you've got front-row tickets to the hottest drama in town, no subscription needed! 🎬📺👀
The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.
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With friends like these, who needs mystery novels? 😂🤐💀
If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.
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Turning a home into a sauna one degree at a time! 🦎☀️
I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.
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Still "selfie-cute," just keeping it under wraps for suspense! 😎📷✨
There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!
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Just when I thought I captured my good side, my camera said, "Plot twist!" 📸🤪
If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.
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Guess I’ll have to hide my happiness behind my resting grump face then! 😄🙃
I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.
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Sounds like the writers are on their third cup of coffee and a brainstorming spree! ☕️🎬🤪
I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.
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When your face leaks spoilers even before your brain hits pause 😅🤐📺