Skip to content
  • Privacy
  • Disclaimer
  • Terms & Conditions
Wordgag

10,000+ Funny Quotes

  • ⚔ Funny Quotes Slot →
Popular Topics šŸš€
mental health routine satire exercise after comfort childhood relationships stop better memory thought old wish eat nature change honesty movie myself everything office own sorry travel Christmas laziness pun self-care trying self anxiety fashion girl talk around actually here experience name thinking ID men snack misunderstanding next coffee friendship marriage used
Funny Quotes Data šŸ¤“

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

17,824 funny quotes topics

Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

147 Funny keep quotes

Funny keep quotes šŸ¤£ā€”because who doesn’t need a little humor to keep going? Whether you’re trying to stave off the Monday blues or just need a chuckle to brighten your day, these quotes are here to remind you that laughter is indeed the best medicine šŸ˜„. Dive into a world where wisdom and wit collide, and keep those spirits high with a smile on your face! 🌟

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see ā€œLikesā€ in my journal.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Posted onMay 20, 2026May 20, 2026

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Posts navigation

Newer posts

© 2026 Wordgag Inc.

>>> Random Quotes ✨