59 Funny lot quotes

Trending Funny Lot Quotes 🔥

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.
It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.
Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”
I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.
Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

More funny lot quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Commentary:
🤭 Whoops, that moment when your casual agreement turns into a surprise mission impossible! Just like saying "sure, I'll just climb Mount Everest in my lunch break, no problem" and then reality hits like a ton of bricks! 🏔️😅 #UnderestimatedMyself
5 months ago
Share →: Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Commentary:
"Looks like Europeans have cracked the code to beating boredom – read, baby, read! 📚📖 Who needs suspenseful TV dramas when you have the entire literary world at your fingertips? Keep turning those pages, Europe!"
5 months ago
Share →: I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Commentary:
"Ah, the unsung heroes of the dining world—waiters! Always ready to dish out some service with a side of sass. 🍽️😄 Let's raise a toast to these tableside trendsetters who really know how to bring their 'A' game to the table… quite literally!"
5 months ago
Share →: Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Commentary:
"Big shoutout to all my fellow poker-faced pals out there! 🃏♠️ Who needs a range of facial expressions when you've got 'resting chill face' mastered? 😎 Keep calm and carry on, you mysterious beings. 🤔😄 #FacialExpressionGameStrong"
5 months ago
Share →: Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Commentary:
"Freddie Krueger definitely knows how to keep it light and breezy, especially considering his…uh, unique line of work! 😅 Who knew a name preference could be the key to showcasing your fun-loving side amidst all the slashing and dashing? 🔪😄 #FreddieVsFred"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of decision-making at its finest! 🤔 But hey, who needs thinking anyway when you can just wing it, right? 🤷‍♂️ Embrace the carefree spirit and let spontaneity be your new best friend! 🎉 #LivingLifeOnTheEdge"
5 months ago
Share →: What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Commentary:
"Raising kids is like being a tooth fairy, except instead of collecting teeth under pillows, you end up with a mysterious stash of tiny enamel treasures in a drawer somewhere. 🧚‍♂️🦷 #ParentingMysteries"
5 months ago
Share →: If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Commentary:
🎉 "When you're hitting the dance floor with your cousin and someone questions your family tree, just drop the bombshell: 'Our parents are siblings.' Cue the collective gasps and eyebrow raises! Nothing like a little familial twist to spice up the party conversation. 🤪💃 #CousinCraziness"
5 months ago
Share →: You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Commentary:
"Who knew parking within the lines could be a revolutionary concept? 🚗😆 Maybe we need a 'Parking 101' course for some drivers! 🅿️📚 #StayBetweenTheLines"