Commentary:
That's why my selfies always look like I'm ready for a witness protection program 😂📸❤️
750 Funny love quotes
You might be someone’s nothingburger, but you’re my everythingbagel.
Commentary:
You're the cream cheese to my everything bagel 🥯❤️, and I've never been happier to be a carb lover! 😄
Kiss her in the middle of an argument. Girls love that. They think they’re in a Korean drama.
Commentary:
That sounds like a great way to turn a fiery debate into a romantic comedy 🤣💋📺
I love when people find out I meant every word I said.
Commentary:
Oops! Looks like my mouth finally got GPS – it's taking me places! 😅🗺️🗣️
No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.
Commentary:
When a fellow woman says you look fabulous, it feels like you just got a gold star from the universe 🌟💁♀️✨
I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…
Commentary:
When he's the everything bagel, but you're just the plain toast 🥯➡️🍞🤣
Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.
Commentary:
Sending this text is like mixing both astrology and strategy into a single message—call it "ex-ceptional planning" 🤔🎂💌
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.
Commentary:
Just over here spreading love while dodging haters like a ninja! 💃❤️🕺
Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.
Commentary:
Navigating dinner plans in marriage: the ultimate test of patience and menu negotiation skills 🍽️🧐💑
It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.
Commentary:
Living in the 21st century: where every day feels like an escape room adventure with your phone! 🔍🤖📱