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Navigating dinner plans in marriage: the ultimate test of patience and menu negotiation skills 🍽️🧐💑
742 Funny love quotes
It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.
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Living in the 21st century: where every day feels like an escape room adventure with your phone! 🔍🤖📱
I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.
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Considering a night out with friends? Let me just pull out the spreadsheet and punch some numbers first 😂📊🤔
I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.
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Meow you tell me, who's the purr-son in charge here? 😂🐱🗣️
Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.
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When I say I'm "hanging out with friends," I mean my collection of mismatched socks. 😜🧦🤪
Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.
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Count me in! Who needs sleep when we can have romantic eye bags together? 😴❤️🥰
Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.
Commentary:
Batman really mastered the art of time travel fashion! 🕰️🦇🕶️
My soulmate is chocolate cake.
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Finding true love one slice at a time! 🍰❤️😋
Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.
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Toddler-approved: The highest honor one can achieve before 9 p.m.! 👶❤️🏆
I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.
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Ah, the secret to unlocking happiness: Russian nesting dolls and Tupperware parties! 🎁😂