Commentary:
Sounds like I'm the same comedian whether I'm sipping tea or tequila 🤔🎭🥃
151 Funny making quotes
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
Commentary:
When your brain insists on being your heart's chaperone 😄🧠❤️
I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.
Commentary:
Trying to compliment my life decisions is like giving myself a participation trophy for a dodgeball game I never showed up to 😂🏆
Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
Commentary:
Sounds like my cat's prepping for a career in "nap-tastic" film productions! 🎬😹💤
I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.
Commentary:
Sounds like the writers are on their third cup of coffee and a brainstorming spree! ☕️🎬🤪
They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.
Commentary:
Leveling up my genius points, one blunder at a time! 😂🧠✨
Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.
Commentary:
"Decisions, decisions… Looks like my to-do list just got a plot twist! 📚🍕🧽 #Priorities"
Stop making Fast and Furious movies.
Commentary:
"At this rate, even my popcorn is running out of gas! 🍿😅 #TooFastTooFurious"
I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.
Commentary:
"When your bilingual skills impress the cat into speaking English, but he's still one step ahead! 🐱🗣️😂 #FluentInFeline"
“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”
Commentary:
"Taking advice from my heart is like getting directions from a GPS with a crush on that bakery down the street! 🧭💖🥐"