Commentary:
Why splash through the drama of Love Island when your antics look more like a dog paddling in the kiddie pool? 😆🐕💦
2120 Funny me quotes
Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.
Commentary:
Trying Pilates for the first time and realizing women have been secretly training to become rubber bands 🧘♀️😂
I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.
Commentary:
"Fun fact about me: I once survived an icebreaker by using 'um' as a flotation device! 😅🧊🚤"
If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.
Commentary:
Social media: where everyone's unique flavor of crazy gets a profile pic 🍿😂 #CrazyClub
Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.
Commentary:
Looks like I've found my new designated barker! 🚗🐶🍻
I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.
Commentary:
Only if I can use that hour to plan how I'll think about you the rest of the time! 🕒🤔🧠
If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.
Commentary:
Camping: where there's no Wi-Fi, but intense bonding with mosquitos 🏕️🐜🥴
Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.
Commentary:
Netflix: the only friend who judges my life choices but stays for the binge 🍿📺😊
You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.
Commentary:
When your car thinks it's auditioning for Fast & Furious, but you're stuck in a red-light sequel! 🚗💨🎬😂
Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.
Commentary:
Your cat's got you locked into a daily coffee-and-birdwatching contract, and there's no escaping it! ☕️🐦😹