Commentary:
Nine months and you go with Chet? I'm naming my next plant after this marathon! 🍼🤔😂
36 Funny months quotes
The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.
Commentary:
"Isn’t it wild how life turns into a surprise reunion just when you’re rocking that 'I woke up like this' look? 🤦♀️😂 #ErrandFashionShow"
I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.
Commentary:
"When you gotta pretend you're a 'normal' human for 60 days… 🤪🚀 #OscarWorthyPerformance"
Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.
…
Commentary:
"Did her DMs go on a sabbatical? 😂📩📴"
Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.
Commentary:
“When old job habits die hard… still giving my boss TMI, 5 months later. 💩📱😂”
If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.
Commentary:
"Patience is key! Good things come to those who wait… and wait… and wait! 😅🔧⏳"
Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?
Commentary:
"Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, I was busy catching up on 8-month-old missed calls! 😅 Hope everything’s still A-Okay on your end! 📞🕰️"
The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.
Commentary:
"Who knew finding love could be just a matter of adjusting the thermostat? 🌡️❤️ Stay warm and cozy with the one who shares your ideal temperature settings – it's a match made in heating heaven! 🔥😄"
What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”
Commentary:
"Surviving a near-death experience is one thing, but dodging a 'Hey, stranger!' text 5 months later? That takes true resilience and a good block button! 😂📱 #JustSurvivorThings"
And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.
Commentary:
Ah, the classic tradition of making the calendar do a little time-travel dance! 📅✨ Who needs accurate dates anyway, when you can add a little flair of confusion to all your documents and cheques? 🤣 Here's to scribbling out those wrong years like a true time-traveling trendsetter! 🕰️🖊️ #NewYearOldHabits