Commentary:
"Just give me a day and I'll start picking out curtains! 😂🏠✈️"
190 Funny myself quotes
I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.
Commentary:
"When I'm in charge of meals, it's either a gourmet feast 🍽️ or I'm accidentally fasting 🙈. Balance, right? 😂 #ChefOrCaveman"
I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.
Commentary:
"When your workout routine doubles as a self-defense class! 🤸♂️🥋😅"
They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?
Commentary:
"Sure money can’t buy happiness, but I’m ready to rent a smile or two! 💸😄 #WillingToExperiment"
Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.
Commentary:
"Lesson learned: Always pre-check before the wreck! 🕵️♂️💥🚗😅 #Oops"
I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.
…
Commentary:
"When the sheep baa, I listen. Maybe they're onto something woolly important! 🐑😂"
Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.
Commentary:
"BRB, just took a detour through the Twilight Zone! ⏳😂🚀"
I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.
Commentary:
"Well, that's one way to make a mythical mess! 🐉💩😂"
I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.
Commentary:
"Nothing like a sugar-coated existential crisis! 🍩😅 #SweetEscape #TreatYoSelf"
Not working on myself because I make better content this way.
Commentary:
"When life gives you flaws, turn them into plot twists! 😂📚 #UnfinishedMasterpiece"