Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

6 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,275

Funny Quotes Topics

17,392

Funny Quotes Images

15,275

Jan 2, 2026

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Making waves on Telegram:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Breaking via Facebook:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Live now on Slack:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Live now on Pinterest:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Funny noon quotes

Funny noon quotes bring a burst of midday laughter ☀️😂, turning that sleepy afternoon slump into a moment of joy! Whether you’re powering through work or enjoying a lunch break 🍔🥤, these witty one-liners and clever musings will brighten your day and keep the good vibes flowing. Ready to tickle your funny bone and make noon the best time to smile? Let’s dive into some hilarious humor that’s totally worth the wait! 😄✨

New funny noon quotes 👇

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

0

1 month ago

am, change, humor, i, lifestyle, love, mean, means, morning, noon, routine, sleep, sleeping, sleeping in, time, used
I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

0

2 months ago

ask, buddy, day, five, frustration, hate, humor, i, know, laziness, listen, me, noon, okay, people, procrastination, time, today, waking, waking up, woke
Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, doing, drunk, drunk text, everyone, humor, media, noon, relatable, social, social media, text, timing, wants
When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

0

2 months ago

am, going, humor, i, me, morning, noon, people, problem, problem solver, regret, sarcasm, self-care, sleep, solver, tell
I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, morning, noon, person, procrastination, sleep, time
Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

0

2 months ago

assumption, drinker, funny posts, humor, morning, morning drinker, noon, posts, someone, wake, wake up

All funny noon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Slack this month:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

52 shares on Slack this month:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

11 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

6 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,275

Funny Quotes Topics

17,392

Funny Quotes Images

15,275

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,254

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Going viral on Twitch:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Going viral on TikTok:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴