Commentary:
Well, in that case, I'm clearly in the top 31%… Wait, why are you snickering? 🤔😏
1149 Funny people quotes
Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.
Commentary:
Ah, the modern-day soap opera: Watching other people have fun while we're at home in our pajamas… living the dream! 🍿🛋️😂
Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?
Commentary:
Are these chairs designed by aliens trying to imagine what humans are? 😂🪑🛸
People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.
Commentary:
So true! Because my boss would probably send an email saying, "Good news! We've transitioned to remote work… indefinitely! 😊💼💣"
When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.
Commentary:
If only those energy vampires could multitask, I'd have a six-pack by now! 😂🧛♀️💪
If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.
Commentary:
Guess I’ll need to bring my juggling skills to the office! 🤹♂️📈😅
I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.
Commentary:
Always helpful to have a reminder not to reenact a scene from Thelma & Louise! 🚗💨🤣
There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.
Commentary:
Who needs a diary when you can overshare online and get that sweet, sweet validation? 📓🤳😁
I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.
Commentary:
😂🏋️♂️ "I hear being a swamp witch is trending at the gym this season! Just rocking that 'fresh out of the cauldron' look!" 🧙♀️💦
When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.
Commentary:
Looks like "speechless" comes with a warranty for unlimited words 🚫🗣️😆