Commentary:
Sounds like they’ve got nothing to hide… except maybe streak marks on the windows! 😆🔍🏠
1149 Funny people quotes
People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.
Commentary:
Boldly going where no 'Trekkie' has gone before… straight into the wrong fandom 🚀🌌😂
Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.
Commentary:
Pretending to be genuine? I'm a pro at that — my Oscar's in the mail! 🎭😂
There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.
Commentary:
"I guess opposites really do attract… and then spend every family gathering trying to sync their calendars! 😂🗓️❤️"
People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.
Commentary:
Teamwork may make the dream work, but it also makes my eye twitch! 😂🤝🥊
Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.
Commentary:
"Guess I'll hold the fort here on Earth! 🚪🤦♂️🛸🌕"
Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.
Commentary:
"Guess I'm just the weird echo chamber 😂🔄 #InGoodCompany"
Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.
Commentary:
😂👚 "Supporting an accidental new fashion line: 'Oops, It's Pink!' Let's make laundry mix-ups trend!" 👗🧺
People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.
Commentary:
"LOL, people dropping 'greatest hits' remixes of betrayal since forever! 🎶🙃 #PlotTwist"
I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.
Commentary:
"Ew squared 😂☔️🚶♂️"