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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Windmill? Big fan.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Live now on Telegram:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Making waves on WeChat:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Going viral on Facebook:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Spotted on Threads:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Just landed via Messenger:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

66 Funny preference quotes

More funny preference quotes 👇

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

4 weeks ago

computer, computer usage, dark, dark mode, digital, digital lifestyle, humor, lifestyle, mode, much, physically, preference, screen, screen preference, screens, tech, tech humor, ui, UI preference, usage, used, white, white screen
People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

4 weeks ago

deserve, food, food humor, food preference, fry, humor, humor at food, opinion, people, potato, preference, ridicule, sarcasm, seriously, shame, sweet, sweet potato fry, taken
Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

4 weeks ago

duck, fun, humor, i, maybe, preference, quirky, randomness, scattered
I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

4 weeks ago

anxious, coffee, comparison, hot, humor, i, making, me, men, preference, relationship, still
Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

4 weeks ago

chicken, chicken nugget, chicken nuggets, diet, food, humor, indulgence, nice, nugget, preference, skinny
Fries, not lies.

4 weeks ago

comedy, food, food preference, fry, honesty, humor, ly, preference
I like my bed more than I like most people.

4 weeks ago

bed, comfort, humor, introvert, people, preference, relationship, sarcasm, sleep
I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

4 weeks ago

butter, confused, dairy, food, humor, preference, troubled
Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

4 weeks ago

animal, back, career, career change, change, education, fit, good, human, humor, me, octopu, opportunity, preference, school, thank
I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

4 weeks ago

absurdity, commitment, determination, die, hill, humor, i, loyalty, preference

For even more funny preference quotes, hit next 👇

All funny preference quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on YouTube this month:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

77 shares on Discord this month:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

21 shares on X this month:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

51 shares on Slack this month:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Just landed via Snapchat:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Just landed via TikTok:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Breaking via X:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Just landed via YouTube:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Activity Log ✨

66 Funny preference quotes

More funny preference quotes 👇

All funny preference quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨