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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,480

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Making waves on YouTube:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Just shared via Snapchat:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Trending via X:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Going viral on Messenger:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Making waves on Reddit:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Making waves on X:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Funny readiness quotes

Funny readiness quotes bring a splash of humor to those moments when you’re barely prepared but still ready to rock! 😂💪 Whether you’re facing a last-minute challenge or just need a laugh before diving in, these witty lines remind us that a little laughter goes a long way in getting things done. Ready, set, giggle! 🎉😜

New funny readiness quotes 👇

All funny readiness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

92 shares on Discord this month:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,284

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Just landed via Messenger:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Spotted on Slack:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Making art is making love to the world.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Making waves on WeChat:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Going viral on Facebook:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Trending via Pinterest:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

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