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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Reported on WhatsApp:

My favorite color is money.

Shared recently on Slack:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Just landed via Instagram:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Going viral on TikTok:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Making waves on Twitch:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Trending via YouTube:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Shared recently on Discord:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Making waves on Instagram:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Just landed via Threads:

“It’s all in your head.” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

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