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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Going bananas on Threads:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Spotted on YouTube:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Freshly posted on X:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Trending via TikTok:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Live now on Twitch:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Spotted on Pinterest:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Funny restraining quotes

Funny restraining quotes bring laughter to serious situations, turning tension into humor 😂✨. Whether you need a lighthearted take on boundaries or just want to smile at the quirks of keeping distance, these witty lines are sure to brighten your day 😜🚧. Perfect for sharing with friends or adding a dash of fun to your feed, get ready to chuckle and maybe even rethink those pesky restrictions! 😎📵

New funny restraining quotes 👇

All funny restraining quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

20 shares on X this month:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

93 shares on Slack this month:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve disappointed better people.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,397

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Trending via Slack:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Just landed via TikTok:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Just shared via WeChat:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Seen just now on Twitch:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Going viral on Slack:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Going viral on Telegram:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

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