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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Sane is boring.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

27 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Seen just now on X:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Seen just now on WeChat:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Live now on Pinterest:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Just shared via Discord:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Just shared via Discord:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Making waves on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Home » Funny Security Quotes » Page 4

33 Funny security quotes

More funny security quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Commentary:
"Remember, in the game of life, speed and stealth are key. 💨👟 Just make sure you also know when to hit the brakes and play it safe! 😜🚫 #FreebieHunting"
6 months ago
Share →: My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Commentary:
"Who needs a boring 401(k) when you've got a treasure map and a sense of adventure?! 🗺️💰 Retirement goals set to 'X marks the spot' level! ⛏️✨#PirateLife"
6 months ago
Share →: My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Commentary:
"Who needs expensive alarm systems when you have a front door protected by the menacing sight of unpaid bills? 💸🔒 At least your bills are finally serving a purpose… as a makeshift security measure! 😅 #ResourcefulHomeSecurity"

For even more funny security quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny security quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

27 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Reported on Twitch:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Spotted on Facebook:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Seen just now on Telegram:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Breaking via Discord:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Making waves on Messenger:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Seen just now on Threads:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Going viral on WeChat:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Just shared via Discord:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

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