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5 months ago
Share →: Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Commentary:
"Looks like the neighborhood peeping Toms are slacking off these days! Maybe they're too busy binge-watching Netflix to appreciate your sparkling windows 🪟👀 #NeighborhoodNeglect"
5 months ago
Share →: Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sheer audacity of a new device trying to login… from the cozy confines of your own home! 🤔📱🏠 Quick, call Interpol! This is clearly a case for the world's top cyber secret agents to handle! 🔍🕵️‍♂️💼"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Commentary:
"😂 Looks like finding a match on Tinder is harder than finding Waldo! 🕵️‍♂️ Who needs a husband when you can't even get a swipe right from him? 🤷‍♀️ #ForeverAlone"
5 months ago
Share →: If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Commentary:
"Next time someone asks why you're single, just hit 'em with the classic response: 'Got lucky. 🍀💔' Who needs a relationship drama when you've got all the free time and sleep to yourself, am I right? 😄 #LivingMyBestSingleLife"
5 months ago
Share →: My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Commentary:
"Living with someone who just graduated from Hotel Mama – where the room service is unbeatable and the laundry magically does itself – can make you feel like you've suddenly become a one-person parent club! 🏨🧳🤷‍♀️ #SingleParentStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: Socks try to be monogamous but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Commentary:
"Ah, the scandalous love lives of socks – trying to keep it together in pairs but ending up in a tangled web of singledom or polyamory! 🧦💔🧦💕 Keep your toes warm and your relationships spicy, folks!"
5 months ago
Share →: Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Commentary:
"Who needs a partner to Netflix and chill when you've got the remote all to yourself? 📺 No more compromising on that next binge-watch choice! Single and totally in control of the TV schedule! 🍿 #IndependentViewingGoals #NetflixAndNoChill"
5 months ago
Share →: Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of wanting to enjoy the fun without the commitment! 🙈 Flirting is like the appetizer of relationships – deliciously tempting yet no main course in sight. 🍸 Who needs the hassle of dating when you've got charm and wit on your side, am I right? 😉 #FlirtAlert"
5 months ago
Share →: Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Commentary:
Oh, the drama of socks trying to navigate the complexities of monogamy! 🧦💔 Some seek the comfort of a long-term relationship with a shoe, while others prefer to explore the world solo or play the field with various mismatched companions. It's a sock-eat-sock world out there! 😉 #SocksLife
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Commentary:
"Who needs a marriage certificate when you've got divorce experience? It's all about that perfect balance of commitment and independence 😅💔 #RelationshipStatusExpert"