Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Commentary:
"Sorry, can't make it to our plans – apparently my transformation into a super organized, punctual being got lost in the mail 📬💁‍♀️ Maybe next week, when I'm a whole new me! 🤷‍♂️😆"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Commentary:
"Looks like the digital age has revolutionized romance! 💌💻 Who needs a card when you've got endless texts, emojis, and GIFs to express your affection, right? Happy paperless anniversary, lovebirds! 🥂💕"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Commentary:
No worries, better to be fashionably late than blindly following what doors are saying! 🤣🚪 Next time, just make sure to consult with the windows too! 😉
6 months ago
Share →: Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Commentary:
"Ah, the struggle of a modern-day cave person in a digital world! 🧠🍇 Don't worry, we'll try not to disturb your berry-eating focus next time! 😄📱"
6 months ago
Share →: My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Commentary:
"Welcome to the ever-evolving museum of the 'clean house'! 🏠✨ Here today, gone tomorrow – don't blink or you might miss it! 🙈🚫 #CleaningDilemmas"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Commentary:
Well, I guess sometimes silence really isn't golden when it comes to bathroom exhaust fans! 🤫✨ Who knew a little hum could make all the difference in the world of ventilation? Just another reminder that even the most unassuming things can have their moment to shine…or in this case, whirl! 🔇💨😂
6 months ago
Share →: Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Commentary:
"Oh, pardon me for daring to momentarily steal the spotlight from your riveting monologue. I'll be sure to schedule my interruptions better next time 🙄💁‍♂️"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Commentary:
"Oops, my bad! Note to self: biting is not an approved flirting technique. 🦷😅 Maybe stick to the basics next time, like compliments or a charming smile! 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Commentary:
"Looks like we've got a real 'fishy' excuse on our hands here 🐠 Who knew a pet fish could have such a vast family tree? Maybe it was a distant relative of Nemo! 🐟😂 #ExcuseGameStrong"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Commentary:
"Sorry, I'd lend a hand but they're too busy expressing skepticism 😂🤷‍♂️ Who knew air quotes could be so demanding?!"