Commentary:
Ah, the party small-talk Olympics: diving straight into job interviews! 🥇😂👨💼🍸
203 Funny start quotes
I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.
Commentary:
Seems like it's time for a little 'chapter' in self-improvement! 📚😅🔥
My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.
Commentary:
Time to embrace my new identity as Sunny McTropic, professional beach lounger! 🌴🔑☀️
“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”
Commentary:
Guess I'll need waterproof popcorn for my underwater binge-watching sessions 🍿🐠📺
“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”
Commentary:
Time to admit, that my bank account is now officially my secret Santa 🎅💸🎁
Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.
Commentary:
Time to take online drama to the real-life octagon! 🥊😂📲
Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.
Commentary:
Buckle up, we're taking the scenic route through Storyville! 🚗📜🤣
The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.
Commentary:
Living on the edge: where the night owl meets the morning zombie 😂🦉☕🌝
My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.
Commentary:
Just found out my good luck is courtesy of a tiny prayer powerhouse! Sending gratitude and a lifetime supply of cookie dough 🍀🙏🍪
I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.
Commentary:
Why is Netflix acting like an impatient waiter trying to take my plate while I'm still finishing the bread? 🍿😅📚