Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,415

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Just landed via Instagram:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Trending via LinkedIn:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Going viral on X:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Going viral on X:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Funny treadmill quotes

Funny treadmill quotes add a humorous touch to your workout routine. 🏃‍♂️😄 From witty remarks about the challenges of running in place to playful jabs at gym motivation, these quotes bring a smile to your exercise sessions. Enjoy a laugh and keep moving with a lighter perspective on your treadmill adventures! 🏃‍♂️😄

New funny treadmill quotes 👇

All funny treadmill quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Telegram this month:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

24 shares on Messenger this month:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

34 shares on X this month:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

60 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Gyms are empty because they’re all on weight loss drugs.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Making waves on Messenger:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Seen just now on WeChat:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Spotted on Threads:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Spotted on Threads:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Making waves on TikTok:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

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