115 funny us quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Mar 30, 2026

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Mar 30, 2026

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Mar 30, 2026

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Mar 30, 2026

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Mar 30, 2026

I told ChatGPT about us.

Mar 30, 2026

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Mar 30, 2026

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Mar 30, 2026

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Mar 30, 2026

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Mar 29, 2026

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Mar 29, 2026

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Mar 29, 2026

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Mar 29, 2026

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Mar 29, 2026

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Mar 29, 2026

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Mar 29, 2026

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Mar 28, 2026

No amount of daylight can save us.

Mar 28, 2026

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Mar 28, 2026

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Mar 28, 2026

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Mar 28, 2026

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Mar 28, 2026

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Mar 28, 2026

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Mar 28, 2026

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Mar 28, 2026

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Mar 28, 2026

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Mar 28, 2026

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Mar 28, 2026

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Mar 27, 2026

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Mar 27, 2026

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Mar 27, 2026

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Mar 27, 2026

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Mar 27, 2026

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Mar 27, 2026

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Mar 27, 2026