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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Sorry for being socially awkward. It’s just that I’m socially awkward.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,581

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Going viral on X:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Going viral on Instagram:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Trending via Pinterest:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Broadcasted on Threads:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Live now on X:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Shared recently on Threads:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

24 Funny wars quotes

Funny wars quotes bring a hilarious twist to serious battles, showing that even in chaos, humor finds a way 😂💥 Whether it’s clever wordplay or ironic observations, these quotes lighten the mood and remind us that laughter is a powerful weapon too 😄⚔️ Get ready to chuckle and rethink history with some witty gems from the front lines! 🎖️🤣

New funny wars quotes 👇

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All funny wars quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

66 shares on Slack this month:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

45 shares on X this month:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

68 shares on Discord this month:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,506

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Trending via Threads:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Trending via Facebook:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Just shared via Threads:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Trending via Twitch:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Live now on TikTok:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

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