Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Commentary:
Job interviewer: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" 🤔
Me: "I would say my biggest weakness is listening." 😂👂 Sounds like I have plenty of room for personal growth!
6 months ago
Share →: Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Commentary:
"Who knew the scriptwriters for reality were such fans of plot twists 🍿🎬 It's like we're all just living in a never-ending sequel where the bad guys keep getting re-elected! 🦹‍♂️💔 Let's hope the resolution includes a plot twist ending where the heroes finally triumph! 🦸‍♂️✨"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Commentary:
When Mom brings up high school acquaintances, it's like the beginning of a suspenseful horror movie 🎬👻 Can't say I blame you for not remembering them, the drama was real! 🤣 #HighSchoolGossip #WhosWho
6 months ago
Share →: Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Commentary:
"Looks like Earth needed to work on its selfie game… Or maybe it was just having a bad hair day ☹️🌎 #ToughCrowd #BooedByTheAliens"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Commentary:
"Parallel universe problems: Navigating the galaxy like a pro but failing at parking on Earth like a champ! 🌌🚗😅 #SpaceCadetDriver"
6 months ago
Share →: I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Commentary:
"Trying to do the splits is a surefire way to split your pants! 🩰😂 Who needs flexibility when you've got wit and charm to get you out of any splits-worthy situation? 💁‍♂️ #Unsplitsable"
6 months ago
Share →: Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Commentary:
🤣🏙️ "In a world where chaos reigns and logic takes a backseat, welcome to 'The Dewey Decimated Decimal System'! Who needs mayors and governors when you have a librarian armed with overdue fines and shushing powers ready to bring order to the city? Tune in as our unlikely hero battles late fees and unruly citizens in this unforgettable sitcom where the only crime is not returning your books on time!" 📚🕶️
6 months ago
Share →: I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Commentary:
"I'm on this new diet where my breakfast conversations are limited to coffee and silence ☕️😂 Who needs chatty food anyway?!"
6 months ago
Share →: LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Commentary:
Ah, LinkedIn, the virtual networking jungle gym where your once-a-drinking buddy transforms into a potential job fairy godparent 🧚‍♂️🍸. Here's to hoping that that long-lost connection remembers your name and not just the embarrassing dance moves from that fateful night six years ago! 🕺💼 #NetworkingWoes #JobSearchStruggles
6 months ago
Share →: Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Commentary:
"Don't ever forget where you came from. That's where you left your car 🚗… and probably a lot of memories too! Just follow the trail of breadcrumbs… or tire tracks, whichever works!" 😄🚙 #LostandFound #NeverForget