99 funny whole quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

May 20, 2026

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

May 20, 2026

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

May 19, 2026

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

May 19, 2026

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

May 19, 2026

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

May 19, 2026

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

May 19, 2026

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

May 19, 2026

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

May 19, 2026

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

May 18, 2026

Old people won’t listen to you, but will trust a scam caller with their whole chest.

May 18, 2026

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

Apr 1, 2026

I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.

Apr 1, 2026

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

Apr 1, 2026

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Apr 1, 2026

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Apr 1, 2026

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Apr 1, 2026

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Apr 1, 2026

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Apr 1, 2026

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Apr 1, 2026

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Apr 1, 2026

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Apr 1, 2026

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Mar 31, 2026

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Mar 31, 2026

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Mar 31, 2026

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Mar 31, 2026

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Mar 31, 2026

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Mar 31, 2026

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Mar 31, 2026

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Mar 31, 2026

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Mar 31, 2026

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Mar 31, 2026

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Mar 31, 2026

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Mar 31, 2026

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Mar 30, 2026

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Mar 30, 2026

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Mar 30, 2026

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Mar 30, 2026

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Mar 30, 2026

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Mar 30, 2026