Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Spotted on Telegram:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Making waves on Slack:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Making waves on Twitch:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Seen just now on X:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Just landed via Twitch:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Making waves on Reddit:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your playlist takes you from spa day to a full moon werewolf rave 🌕🎶🐺

animal, animal metaphor, comfort, comfort song, dark, dark forest, forest, girls, humor, inside, irony, metaphor, music, music taste, personality, personality traits, song, taste, traits, wolf

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

3

2 weeks ago

being, frustration, hate, humor, income, job, money, people, poor, poverty, still, work, working
If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

0

4 months ago

delete, disappear, humor, i, identity, media, online, online identity, should, social, social media, tweet
Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

0

2 months ago

communication, dating, friendship, humor, i, life, lot, media, message, people, relationship, social, social life, social media, stopped, texting, while
I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

0

2 months ago

food, humor, i, megabite, megabyte, never, regret, taste, technology, wasted
My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

0

2 months ago

before, fake, fake tan, funny moment, glasses, humor, husband, marriage, moment, tan, teeth
I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

0

5 months ago

adult, adults, child, freak, got, humor, i, kind, kindness, little, old, old soul, sad, sadness, saying, self-deprecation, soul, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

52 shares on Slack this month:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Spotted on Messenger:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Making waves on Reddit:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Going bananas on Twitch:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Going viral on X:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Shared recently on Discord:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Making waves on Slack:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨