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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has downloaded:

Donโ€™t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has shared:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

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Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

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When your playlist takes you from spa day to a full moon werewolf rave ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŽถ๐Ÿบ



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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ถ has viewed:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

When I say someone is a good doctor, itโ€™s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

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