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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Trending via Snapchat:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Going viral on Instagram:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Going viral on WeChat:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Spotted on Discord:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Spotted on Twitch:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Going viral on X:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

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God: “You’re all really bad at this.”
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Commentary:
Well, if even God thinks we're not getting it right, we might be in a bit of trouble! 😅🙏 Maybe it's time to up our game and show the big guy what we're made of! 💪✨ #MondayMotivation #Oops

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

90 shares on Telegram this month:

I can resist everything except temptation.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Spotted on Instagram:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Just landed via Slack:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Live now on WhatsApp:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Just shared via Telegram:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Spotted on Slack:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

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