Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.
  • One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.
  • The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.
  • Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.
  • Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.
  • Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.