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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

My favorite color is money.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Just shared via Slack:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Just shared via Telegram:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Trending via YouTube:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Trending via TikTok:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Just landed via Twitch:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Adding 'with all dude respect' instantly transforms even the most questionable statement into a polite bro-ffirmation 🤙🕶️ Just like that, you can maintain your chill vibes while sprinkling a hint of sarcasm into the mix 😏🤣 #BroEtiquette101"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,468

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Making waves on Threads:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Trending via Reddit:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Just landed via Messenger:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Seen just now on Slack:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Seen just now on Discord:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

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