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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Just landed via Twitch:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Just shared via Discord:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Going bananas on X:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Going viral on Threads:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Breaking via Reddit:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Trending via Messenger:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like life is driving the bus and I'm just the passenger without a seatbelt! 🤪🚌

am, crazy, humor, i, LA, life, lifestyle, living, madness, phrase, Spanish, Spanish phrase, vida, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

0

5 months ago

1998, A Bug’s Life, animation, bugs, childhood, humor, life, me, movie, radicalized
Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

0

2 months ago

abyss, anxiety, awkwardness, break, existential, humor, meetings, office, social, social anxiety, stares, work
Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, always, breathe, drink, hear, humor, i, needs, revive, sarcasm, want, wine
Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

0

3 months ago

alone, alone time, childhood, childhood memory, ever, girl, hanging, i, introvert, late, late night, little, loved, memory, myself, night, night owl, owl, personal, personal time, reflection, self, self-reflection, staying, stuff, things, thinking, time
Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

0

2 months ago

absence, humor, intelligence, just, missing, people, screw, toolbox, whole
Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

0

2 months ago

drink, fun, humor, joy, laughter, reason, someone, spit, surprise, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

37 shares on Threads this month:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

24 shares on Threads this month:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Trending via WeChat:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Shared recently on Threads:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Just shared via X:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨