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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,293

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Trending via WeChat:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Just shared via X:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Just shared via Instagram:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Making waves on Reddit:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, at least he's got a hot property deal! 🔥😈💸"

assume, devil, humor, i, irony, sold, soul, soulmate, supernatural

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

2 months ago

fighting, hockey, i, last, Oreo, over, pretend, watch
You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

2 months ago

board, board game, game, humor, irony, jail, luxury, luxury tax, money, Monopoly, old, old game, people, person, rich, rich person, tax, tell, wealth
I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

3 months ago

afford, children, expectations, family, financial, humor, i, living, move, parenting, things, want
Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

2 months ago

am, boss, command, conversation, driver, driving, humor, i, job, joke, left, love, me, navigation, nobody, own, said, taxi, taxi driver, today, turn
I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

2 months ago

conversation, dance, doing, end, end conversation, humor, i, interaction, just, Macarena, social, social interaction, start, want
I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

2 months ago

else, financial, fortune, hope, hoping, humor, luck, money, sky, week, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on X this month:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

84 shares on Slack this month:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

46 shares on Threads this month:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

21 shares on Instagram this month:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Spotted on Twitch:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Shared recently on Reddit:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Just landed via Instagram:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Breaking via Messenger:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Making waves on Messenger:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨