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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,898

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Just shared via Snapchat:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Going viral on Discord:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Spotted on Threads:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Going viral on Threads:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, at least he's got a hot property deal! 🔥😈💸"

assume, devil, humor, i, irony, sold, soul, soulmate, supernatural

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

1 month ago

2, afternoon, am, bedtime, day, fatigue, i, sleep, tired, wish
Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

2 months ago

am, break, everywhere, existential, humor, i, irony, myself, need, self-reflection, ugh
I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

1 month ago

activity, adventure, corn, corn maze, date, ever, found, fun, fun activity, humor, i, lost, maze, relationship, wonder
My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

3 months ago

advice, getting, getting older, humor, older, people, person, preparation, prepare, start, stretching, young, young person
People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

2 months ago

always, ask, breakfast, chair, convenience, hell, humor, me, morning, morning routine, people, routine, shower, standing
I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

1 month ago

am, honesty, humor, i, personality, self-awareness, sorry, weird

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Live now on Facebook:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Just shared via Facebook:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Live now on Instagram:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Just shared via WeChat:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Trending via Instagram:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Just landed via Threads:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

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Activity Log ✨

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

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I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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