I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?