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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Just landed via Discord:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Spreading quickly via X:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Just landed via Instagram:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Making waves on Instagram:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Going viral on WeChat:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Spotted on TikTok:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

0
I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Flying high with humor, but airport security prefers a more grounded approach! 😂✈️🚫

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

13 shares on Slack this month:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

74 shares on Threads this month:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,265

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Making waves on Discord:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Just shared via Facebook:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Making waves on Discord:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Just landed via WeChat:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Going viral on Discord:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Shared recently on X:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Live now on Snapchat:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Just landed via TikTok:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Trending via Pinterest:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

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