Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,528

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Seen just now on X:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Spotted on Instagram:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Going viral on Slack:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Seen just now on Telegram:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Spotted on WeChat:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Trending via Messenger:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution. It’s the year’s turn to be better.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like it's time for the year to hit the gym and work on itself! 🏋️‍♂️🍀

better, humor, i, improvement, motivation, need, new, new year, resolution, turn, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

0

2 months ago

camera, chaos, frame, humor, humor quote, i, joke, life, mess, only, together
I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal behavior, back, behavior, cat, communication, funny interaction, humor, i, interaction, meow, pet, social, today
Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

0

2 months ago

accessory, funny idea, getting, humor, i, idea, keys, lose, nose, nose ring, personal, personal style, practicality, quirky, quirky solution, ring, solution, style
If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

0

5 months ago

artistic, artistic ruin, Bukowski, creativity, dating, humor, literature, looking, love, relationship, ruin, someone
There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, away, being, childhood, days, delivery, different, doors, driver, game, humor, knocking, names, play, running, used
My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

0

2 months ago

balance, choices, experience, humor, life, live, living, money, once, priorities, save, savings, spending

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

70 shares on Threads this month:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

57 shares on Discord this month:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Just shared via Reddit:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Spotted on Discord:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Spotted on Telegram:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Making waves on Threads:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Just landed via Messenger:

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

Making waves on Reddit:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution. It’s the year’s turn to be better.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨