Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I had too much to think last night.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,551

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

Just landed via Messenger:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess the only thing ghosting harder than my phone battery is you! 👻📱😂

communication, finds, hope, humor, i, message, no response, patience, response, row, sarcasm, text, texting, waiting, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

0

2 months ago

audiobook, believe, book, entertainment, found, humor, i, listening, literature, me, reading, self-discovery
Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

0

2 months ago

bacon, cure, food, health, humor, irony, kill, smoking
Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

0

2 months ago

collection, humor, impressive, personality, quirks, strange, strange tendency, tendency
Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

0

2 months ago

daily, daily struggle, encouragement, give, humor, just, making, making it through, me, motivation, participation, participation trophy, perseverance, please, request, someone, struggle, through, today, trophy
It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

0

5 months ago

closer, connection, distance, friend, friendship, Funny, humor, important, life, lived, meet, meeting, nicer, online, online friend, someone
I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

0

2 months ago

alternate, app, family, join, start, taken, taken down, Twitter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on WeChat this month:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

49 shares on Discord this month:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Just landed via Instagram:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Trending via Snapchat:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Shared recently on Threads:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Going viral on TikTok:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨