Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Friends with consequences.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Shared recently on Slack:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Spotted on Reddit:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Trending via Discord:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Shared recently on X:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Shared recently on Telegram:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess the only thing ghosting harder than my phone battery is you! 👻📱😂

communication, finds, hope, humor, i, message, no response, patience, response, row, sarcasm, text, texting, waiting, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, aging, awake, crisis, having, humor, just, midlife, self-awareness, welcome
The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

0

2 months ago

activity, comfort, comfort food, eat, food, fun, fun activity, happiness, key, order, pizza, repeat
So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

0

3 months ago

am, communication, fluent, friendship, humor, i, me, next, silence, sit, speak, tired, too
All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

0

2 months ago

40, daily, daily life, galaxy, hour, humor, irony, life, planet, planets, satire, universe, week, weeks, work, work week
Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

0

2 months ago

behavior, expectations, fairness, irony, people, relationships, treat, upset
There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

0

2 months ago

broke, finance, humor, irony, me, money, much, sarcasm, too, wealth, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Slack this month:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

37 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Making waves on Discord:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Shared recently on Threads:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Trending via Instagram:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Trending via TikTok:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Seen just now on Discord:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨