Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,612

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Going viral on TikTok:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Shared recently on Instagram:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Freshly posted on Slack:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Spotted on X:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

I love my bed so much, what a place.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your bed feels more committed to you than any relationship ever has! 😂🛌❤️"

bed, comfort, humor, i, love, much, place, relaxation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

0

2 days ago

behavior, gone, humor, introvert, media, online, online behavior, social, social media, Twitter, wild
All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

0

2 months ago

craving, food, humor, layers, love, music, nachos, saying, snack, song, songs, too
I hope this email makes you quit your job.

0

5 months ago

email, hope, humor, i, job, message, quit, quitting, work
My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

0

2 months ago

before, fake, fake tan, funny moment, glasses, humor, husband, marriage, moment, tan, teeth
“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

0

5 months ago

chase, done, funny situation, house, humor, i, never, open, parenting, parkour, Sharpie, situation, through, toddler
My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

0

2 months ago

dating, delete, humor, me, media, online, online dating, post, posts, rejection, relationship, social, social media, soulmate

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

12 shares on Slack this month:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

25 shares on X this month:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

22 shares on Discord this month:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Making waves on Discord:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Going viral on Slack:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Spotted on Threads:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Just shared via Reddit:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Spotted on Instagram:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Live now on Discord:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨