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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,632

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Making waves on X:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Live now on Reddit:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

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I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.
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Commentary:
I totally get it—some outfits can only reach their full potential with the perfect hair upgrade! It’s fashion physics! 💁‍♀️✨👗

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Threads this month:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

22 shares on Slack this month:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

48 shares on Slack this month:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

20 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,428

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Making waves on YouTube:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Seen just now on Threads:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

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