Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,738

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Spotted on X:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I have a yearning disability.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Breaking via X:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Making waves on X:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about workplace humor, highlighting a clever boss-employee exchange with a playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, looks like my boss gave me a raise—turns out for comedy! 😂🤷‍♂️

asked, boss, conversation, employee, everyone, hire, hiring, humor, i, insult, joke, knows, me, people, remember, stupid, stupidity, told, work

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

80 shares on Discord this month:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

51 shares on YouTube this month:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Spotted on Discord:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Trending via Telegram:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Going viral on Slack:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Making waves on X:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Shared recently on Threads:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Live now on Messenger:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Shared recently on YouTube:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨