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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

337 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,930

Funny Quotes Topics

17,099

Funny Quotes Images

14,930

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,826

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Going bananas on Discord:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Breaking via Telegram:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"Guess I'll pack my feelings and carry-on! 🧳😂 #EmotionalBaggage"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

1 month ago

choice, decision, funny quip, humor, quip, right, right way, suggestion, things, ways
Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

2 months ago

beautiful, beautiful chocolate, chocolate, food, hot, hot chocolate, humor, self-esteem, time
When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

5 months ago

challenge, communication, dumb, dumb question, humor, i, misunderstanding, personal, question, said, take, thing
Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

1 month ago

being, day, destiny, digital, digital life, humor, life, modern, modern life, phone, screen, screen time, sometimes, technology, time
For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

4 months ago

advice, emotional, emotional health, forgetting, health, humor, memory, mindset, move, move on, never, own, reality, relationship, sanity
Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

1 month ago

bus, character, comedy, everyone, humor, irony, main, main character, perspective, reality, self-importance, transportation

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Going viral on Telegram:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Going viral on Telegram:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Making waves on Messenger:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Just landed via Messenger:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

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I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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