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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,596

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Going bananas on Instagram:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Shared recently on Slack:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Going viral on Facebook:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Trending via Reddit:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

0
I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.
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Commentary:
🤣🧠 Seems like I caught the same bug! Anyone know the cure, or should I just stick to memes and cat videos? 🐱🎥

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

71 shares on Discord this month:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

76 shares on Slack this month:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

47 shares on Discord this month:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

17 shares on X this month:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,560

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Going viral on Reddit:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Just shared via Twitch:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Just shared via Slack:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Shared recently on Slack:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Mike is short for Micycle.

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