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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

So my wife goes, “It’s not you — it’s me.” Obviously written by ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,571

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Spotted on Facebook:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Just shared via Messenger:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Breaking via Messenger:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Making waves on Reddit:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Spotted on Instagram:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Catch 'em all… covered in batter! 🍢😂 #PikachuPops"

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34 shares on Discord this month:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

48 shares on X this month:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

84 shares on YouTube this month:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Making waves on WeChat:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Going viral on Slack:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Just landed via Facebook:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Trending via Reddit:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

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Activity Log ✨

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨