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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Just shared via TikTok:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

They’re making me do work at work.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Trending via Slack:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Just landed via Slack:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Just shared via Telegram:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Just shared via Reddit:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.
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Commentary:
"Catch 'em all… covered in batter! 🍢😂 #PikachuPops"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Breaking via Threads:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Just landed via Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Trending via TikTok:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Spreading quickly via X:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Going viral on Facebook:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Breaking via X:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Live now on YouTube:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

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