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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has viewed:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has viewed:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has bookmarked:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has shared:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has copied:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Telegram:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Shared recently on X:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Going viral on TikTok:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Trending via YouTube:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Making waves on Slack:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Going viral on Instagram:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Going viral on Telegram:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Making waves on TikTok:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.
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Commentary:
That's pasta-tively hilarious! πŸπŸ˜†

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Instagram this month:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Trending Topics πŸ“

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Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Well, like I said to my television the other day, β€œHow can these people be so stupid?!?”

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

A wise man once said, β€œBees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has copied:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has shared:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has shared:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on TikTok:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Making waves on Threads:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Trending via Discord:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Just landed via X:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Live now on Facebook:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Going bananas on X:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Just shared via WeChat:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

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