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Commentary:
"Two percent sounds suspiciously vague 🤔🥛 Who knows what mysteries lie in that remaining 98% – unicorns, aliens, the meaning of life? 🦄👽🤷‍♂️ Let's stick to the sure thing: no milk until we have all the facts! 🚫🥛 #MilkMystery"

2, dairy, drink, drinking, figure, humor, milk, percentage, skepticism

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

1 month ago

accident, car, cars, horn, Lil, should, silly, smaller, something, sorry
I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

1 month ago

classics, ever, every, FOMO, humor, i, literature, making, me, read, reading, reference, references, understand, understanding, want
I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

1 month ago

clothes, humor, i, mood, new, okay, retail, retail therapy, sad, self-care, shopping, therapy
I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

2 months ago

crazy, existed, humor, level, personality, unexpected, warned
Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

1 month ago

discomfort, excuse, feels, humor, i, right, sensory, sock, sorry, talk, weird
The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

1 month ago

1942, absurdity, costume, fruit, humor, invention, joke, playful, pumpkin, put, watermelon, whimsical

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Just shared via Discord:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Spotted on Slack:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Freshly posted on X:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Spotted on WeChat:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

I will never stop being a quitter!

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

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I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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