Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I need a break from me.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Going viral on Twitch:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Going bananas on Facebook:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Trending via Twitch:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who doesn't want to livarrhea, right? 💩😂 Say goodbye to the runs and hello to the funs! 💃 #livelaughpoop"

diarrhea, humor, i, illness, joke, livarrhea, pun, sick, want, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

0

2 months ago

cinema, entertainment, escape, favorite, forget, hours, literally, movie, relaxation, vibe, world
Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

0

6 months ago

age, birthday, growing, growing up, humor, joke, life, man, men, why
Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

0

2 months ago

bermuda, Bermuda Triangle, current, current events, disappear, events, humor, irony, just, much, mystery, news, too, triangle
Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

0

2 months ago

ancient, ancient Rome, eat, ever, food, humor, meal, paid, payment, properly, roman, Rome, salt, seasoning, understand, why
Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

0

2 months ago

cycle, frustration, health, hour, humor, joke, just, last, leave, menstruation, period, point, pregnancy, pregnant, time, why, women’s, women’s health
When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

0

3 months ago

box, breakfast, cereal, cereal box, childhood, humor, i, just, kid, nostalgia, phone, phones, read, reading, tablet, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

100 shares on X this month:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

67 shares on X this month:

Never trust a wet fart.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Seen just now on X:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Live now on Reddit:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Just shared via Threads:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨