Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Making waves on Reddit:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Tested positive for being single af

Just shared via TikTok:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Going viral on Twitch:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Going viral on Discord:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who doesn't want to livarrhea, right? 💩😂 Say goodbye to the runs and hello to the funs! 💃 #livelaughpoop"

diarrhea, humor, i, illness, joke, livarrhea, pun, sick, want, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

0

2 months ago

9, cloud, cloud 9, expectations, fall, high, high place, humor, irony, life, perspective, place
My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

0

2 months ago

company, diversity, hire, humor, never, twins, workplace
How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, came, coke, creativity, guy, humor, mutant, ninja, teenage, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, turtles
Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

0

2 months ago

gaslighting, good, good mood, health, humor, mental, mental health, mood, myself, positivity, self-deception, thinking
If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

0

2 months ago

anger, clean, cleaning, cleaning motivation, everyone, family, frustration, hours, house, humor, i, just, know, motivation, yell
Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

0

2 months ago

adventure, bird, birds, close, cloud, days, drinking, eating, excuse, flew, humor, i, joke, message, rain, skydiving, sorry, stuck, survival, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

92 shares on Slack this month:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

59 shares on X this month:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Making waves on YouTube:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Seen just now on X:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Seen just now on Slack:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Live now on Reddit:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨