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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Going viral on Messenger:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Trending via Reddit:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Trending via TikTok:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Breaking via Slack:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ready to dig up some fun and plant the seeds of innocence! 🕵️‍♂️🔍😂"

alibi, crime, dark, dark humor, friend, friendship, humor, humorist, joke, shovel, shows

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

0

3 weeks ago

bleeding, danger, emotion, emotions, feelings, metaphor, next, people, shark, showing, trust, vulnerability, wrong
There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

0

2 months ago

comments, leave, people, porn, videos
I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

0

2 months ago

am, around, attitude, being, childlike, childlike wonder, General, giggle, hate, humor, i, mistake, naivety, people, personality, simply, war, war general, weakness, wonder
If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, buy, circus, humor, i, irony, joke, management, manager, monkey
I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

0

2 months ago

bruise, dating, funny observation, getting, getting laid, humor, laid, new, observation, relationship, self-deprecation
Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

0

2 months ago

childhood, drugs, humor, humor quote, phone, primary, rule, school, school rule, smuggling, taking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Telegram this month:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

15 shares on Threads this month:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Just shared via Reddit:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Shared recently on WeChat:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Shared recently on WeChat:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Just landed via Slack:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨