Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,658

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Live now on Instagram:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Just landed via Twitch:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Just shared via Telegram:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the secret recipe for a successful life: less drama, more pajamas! 😴💼✨

9, advice, before, career, casual, casual dating, dating, going, humor, i, life, life advice, long-term, long-term relationship, recommend, relationship, relationships, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

0

2 months ago

expectation, food, french, great, humor, i, just, mean, surprise, toast
Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, confusion, crazy, existential, going, hell, humor, life, nonsense, reality
A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, communication, humor, know, real, shut, shut up, silence, smartphone, technology
Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

0

2 months ago

beverage, care, comedy, dental, dental care, drink, drinking, humor, mishap, ruin, sure, toothpaste, unexpected
Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

0

2 months ago

advice, health, humor, just, listen, me, mental, mental health, nap, relaxation, take, therapist
God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

0

5 months ago

coping, coping mechanism, girl, God, humor, mechanism, relief, shopping, stress, stress relief

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on YouTube this month:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

98 shares on X this month:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Freshly posted on X:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Breaking via Reddit:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Trending via Twitch:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Spotted on Facebook:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Going viral on X:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Just shared via Messenger:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨