Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Just landed via Telegram:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Going viral on X:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Freshly posted on Threads:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Spotted on Twitch:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Trending via Twitch:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Just shared via TikTok:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to earn my PhD in social media! 📜😅 #ScrollScholar

delay, distraction, hours, humor, i, internet, just, know, management, media, procrastination, scrolling, social, social media, time, time management

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

0

2 months ago

20s, 30s, adventure, age, early, early 30s, emotional, emotional support, humor, Japan, late, late 20s, people, support, travel, trip
The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

0

2 months ago

anything, apathy, attitude, carefree, concern, confidence, days, humor, lion, much, relaxation
Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

0

2 months ago

every, home, house, humor, kitchen, laundry, laundry room, laziness, next, paid, plan, procrastination, rent, room, sleep, week, weekend, weekend plan
Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

0

2 months ago

back, both, change, channel, childhood, day, exaggeration, humor, nostalgia, technology, TV, uphill, walk, ways
Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

0

2 months ago

cooking, everyday, everyday life, everyone, expectations, failure, genius, humor, life, microwave, reality, someone, technology, try
It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

0

2 months ago

change, facial, facial recognition, humor, i, identity, myself, okay, personal, recognition, self

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

34 shares on Discord this month:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

78 shares on X this month:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

57 shares on X this month:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

46 shares on Slack this month:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

49 shares on X this month:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Going viral on Instagram:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Live now on Reddit:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Trending via Instagram:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Going viral on Messenger:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Breaking via Twitch:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Trending via Reddit:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Making waves on Instagram:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Just landed via Twitch:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨