Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Just landed via Telegram:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Spotted on Instagram:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Freshly posted on X:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Too bad I left my ceremonial robes at the dry cleaners this week! 😅🔮🕯️

dating, easily, humor, i, joke, meet, meet up, men, plan, relationship, sacrifice, too, want, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

0

2 months ago

AI, connor, culture, embrace, everyone, future, humor, i, John, John Connor, pop, pop culture, robot, sci-fi, technology, wonder
When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, climbing, humor, important, mountain, mountain climbing, outdoor, outdoor activity, preparation, remember, reminder
Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

0

3 months ago

ball, enough, fight, football, humor, just, literally, making, over, player, players, reason, saw, sideline, sport
This entire month could’ve been an email.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, humor, month, productivity, time, work
By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

0

2 months ago

actually, agreement, bulb, collective, collective agreement, consumer, consumer experience, exaggeration, expectation, experience, humor, just, last, led, LED bulb, let, lifespan, lightbulb, reality, slide, technology
Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

0

2 months ago

adventure, friends, fun, get in, going, humor, loser, overthinking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Slack this month:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

48 shares on Slack this month:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

28 shares on Discord this month:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

24 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

34 shares on Facebook this month:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Making waves on X:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

Just landed via Twitch:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Going viral on YouTube:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

This entire month could’ve been an email.

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨