Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

People should come with warning labels.

Spotted on Instagram:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Spotted on Threads:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Making waves on X:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Just shared via YouTube:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Too bad I left my ceremonial robes at the dry cleaners this week! 😅🔮🕯️

dating, easily, humor, i, joke, meet, meet up, men, plan, relationship, sacrifice, too, want, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

0

2 months ago

animals, awkward, bison, distance, friend, friends, friendship, humor, keep, nature, want, wildlife
Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

0

2 months ago

am, finances, humor, i, money, never, reason, self-reflection, shocked
If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

0

2 months ago

body, body cast, cast, full, going, humor, i, looks, motherhood, parenting, relaxation, relaxing, sarcasm, show, someone, TV, TV Show, watching, wondering
I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, convenience, delivery, efficiency, found, humor, i, lost, lost and found, new, office, straight, umbrella
My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

0

2 months ago

calligrapher, comparison, dad, family, handwriting, humor, pharmacist, writing
Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

0

5 months ago

break, cheese, focus, food, humor, relaxation, taking, thinking, time, time off

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

35 shares on Slack this month:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

67 shares on Telegram this month:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Going viral on WeChat:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Just shared via Slack:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Going viral on Slack:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Going bananas on Discord:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨