Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Body by sandwich.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Just landed via Threads:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Just landed via Threads:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Just landed via Threads:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Going viral on Discord:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs romance when Mother Nature's swiping right on my outdoor adventures? 🌳😆🌞"

activity, anyone, busy, dating, denial, free, free time, fun, fun activity, humor, lying, outdoor, outdoor activity, outside, playing, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

0

2 months ago

activity, dance, fun, fun activity, humor, i, interaction, just, Macarena, people, push, social, social interaction
“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, mean, meaning, patience, self-expression, sit, sit still, still, tattoo, time
If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

0

2 months ago

ask, going, home, humor, invitation, leave, me, myself, situation, tell
The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, comfort, cool, humor, jealousy, just, pillow, relationship, side, sleep, stole
Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

0

3 weeks ago

again, care, communication, dismissal, humor, i, indifference, me, mention, need, phrase, professional, professional phrase, sarcasm, say
Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

0

5 months ago

awful, childbirth, family, family planning, humor, lot, market, parenting, planning, pregnancy, satire, seems, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Just landed via X:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Freshly posted on Slack:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Going bananas on Instagram:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨